Note: This review is for the Xbox 360 version of the game. It also doesn’t take into account the multiplayer aspects of the title. (Much apologies in advance if this vehemently enrages you.)

Rockstar Games/Studios is one of those rare video game publishers/developers these days where you don’t really worry very much about whether or not they’re going to push out a superior product. Their track record quite literally speaks for itself and I know I’m among a whole multitude of people who — upon hearing they were taking up the Max Payne saga mantel and crafting the third game in the series — were positively frigging ecstatic. And as I did personally, wore around a shit-eating grin for a few hours after hearing said news.

"Stop. Calling. Me. Walter. WHITE!"

Max Payne 1 and 2 were each famous — and subsequently successful — for two core reasons. One, the bullet-time gameplay was unlike anything ever included in video game gunplay since the inception of Pong so many, many years eons ago. And two, the story — despite, at times, being completely bat-shit frigging insane — was told in an engrossing, grittily noir comic book format. Which made the aforementioned bat-shit frigging insanity much more easily digestible.

Unfortunately, only one of these distinguishing pillars returned for the third installment in the franchise. Well, more like one-and-a-half, actually. If you want to get all technical and annoying. You see, the bullet time gameplay — in which you can slow down time for a short duration and unleash rampant, unrepentant carnage with reckless abandon — obviously makes a return in Max Payne 3. It’s 2012, yo, after all.

However, the aforementioned comic book storytelling style kind-of/sort-of makes a return in Max Payne 3 in that, upon loading up the game, you’re treated to a summarized comic book style recap of everything that’s happened in that particular chapter thus far. It’s just that there’s no reading of or delivering of any lines whatsoever. Mainly because there aren’t any; it’s all just visuals. Awesomely designed and stylized visuals, mind you, but still, there’s no comic-styled panel visuals in sight. And this made me very, very sad… Probably because I’m a huge dork.

But such is a minor gripe in the grand scheme of things, really. Max Payne 3 certainly feels like a Max Payne game, both in the way it plays and the tone it conveys throughout everything actually unfolding. While it’s understandable why São Paulo, Brazil was chosen for the setting — what with its corrupt, two-faced, political climate supplemented by a seedy, extremely dangerous underbelly backdrop — it just doesn’t succeed in conveying that… that grim, hopelessly depressing, oft-claustrophobic kind of mood that the first two games just positively nailed so very well.

This is all both a positive and a negative since the story arc that the game follows really left no room at all for Max to stay in New York. Or any sprawling, crime-ridden city in the States, really, since I would imagine he was pretty notorious and well-known following the events in Max Payne 1 and 2. You know, for leaving a trail of dead bodies, blown-up/destroyed shit and brought-to-light-conspiracies-that-the-higher-ups-didn’t-necessarily-want-lit-up-whatsoever in his wake. A reputation that, I would imagine, would be immensely hard to shake.

The thread woven in Max Payne 3 is about what you’d expect from a Max Payne game set in Brazil. Although the biggest problem I had about everything was the disconnected feeling towards the people you were supposedly protecting. Sure, some of them had some redeeming qualities, but it’s almost like, “Hey, these people are extremely wealthy and you’re supposed to protect them or else just feel like a waste of life. Cause they’re really rich and powerful and stuff. Also, they’re really, really wealthy.” Other than this minor gripe, though, the overall plot is pretty solid and you can definitely feel the definitive Rockstar Games signature stamp of authenticity throughout.

Who knew double-fisting Uzi's in a dirty, battered old white beater could look so... badass? Touche, Mr. Payne. Touche!

Gunplay is also similar to past titles but with a few new face lifts. Most notably the kill-cam, in which time is slowed down automatically and you’re given an expansively cinematic exposé of the final bullet ripping into the last remaining enemy in a particular area. You can also continue pumping said bad guy full of lead for several seconds following their demise, which is oftentimes surprisingly therapeutic whilst also managing to be quite macabrely comical at the same time. Ladies and gentleman, the Max Payne series!

Another newly added tweak to the gunplay in Max Payne 3 is the “Last Man Standing” mode. Essentially, should you have at least one painkiller left in your… wherever Max keeps the damn things, you can ultimately cheat death by killing the bastard who brought you to the brink of life in the first place. It’s akin to a kind-of modern-day, slow-motion, Old West-style quickdraw to the death. And all made possible by the mysterious wonders of opiates. It’s kind of disorienting at times, to be honest, but overall it’s an admittedly cool and nifty addition. Especially since old-man Max takes what seems like a lot more damage a lot more quickly than he used to back in the dizz-ay.

Whiiiiich essentially segues us into the portion of the review where I explain that a cover mechanic has been added into the game. Just as it always is with new games, reboots or sequels that previously never had one before since it became the “cool kid thing to have in your game on your block” deal a half-decade or so back.

But yes, a cover mechanic has been added to Max Payne 3 and if you’re anything like me, you won’t be using it very much except in exceptionally dire situations where you’re literally bullet-time dive the wrong way away from kicking the bucket. Even so, it’s a welcome addition and really compliments the rest of the frantic, running-and-gunning nature of the rest of the games combat.

Oh, and there’s also an over-the-shoulder aiming camera exclusively reserved for when you’re double-toting some fo-fo’s, kid. Which, to be completely honest, I couldn’t really decide if I liked or not. Definitely was leaning towards the “meh” side of the matters meter but, since I’m such a huge fan of the aforementioned, “double-toting some fo-fo’s,”, I pretty much just let it slide. So there’s that.

On the audio front, the music is also just about what you’d expect from a Max Payne game set in South America. Just think a hauntingly-techno-ish style of music with Latino hip-hop flares and you get the drift. The voice-acting — again, unsurprisingly from a Rockstar game — is top-notch. Although — also again — I can’t help but feel that Rockstar really missed out on making this game truly special by omitting the comic book frame-style storytelling method from the previous two titles. But hey, there’s no sense in crying over spilled milk, right? Especially when there’s whiskey in the freezer.

All in all, Max Payne 3 is more of the same of what we’ve come to know, love and wonder-why-no-one-else-is-ripping-off-this-style-of-game-over-and-over-again-yet. Thankfully, it’s enhanced with a modernized, updated and — I guess you could say Botoxed? — makeover to help Max in his limping, aching journey to the 2010′s. Or whatever it is we’ve collectively decided to call this decade.

In the end, the Botox analogy is an apt one. While we may yearn and look back at past Max Payne titles and remember something a lot better looking, this new Max — while getting a bit on the old side and looking kind-of weird if you look at him too long — is certainly something we can still stomach and enjoy.

Review Score:
3.75/5

While we’re waiting for the servers to come back up (again), Blizzard has announced that there were over 2 million pre-orders made for Diablo III with over 8,000 launch events across the world.  Blizzard is reporting that Diablo III was their largest pre-order success to date and Amazon is backing that claim as well saying it was their most pre-ordered game of all time.  I’ve always been a huge fan of the Diablo Universe, but I’m surprised to see the massive amount of attention the game is getting from the mainstream public.  There’s always been a fairly large following for Diablo, but this launch has taken it to an entirely new level.

With all of that attention, all of those pre-orders, and all of those midnight launches I expected there to be issues when it came time to log into the game for the first time.  It seems I was right (not exactly a psychic pick) and there have been errors since the very moment the servers came online.  We’re catalogueing all of the Diablo III Launch Error Codes as we learn more about them, and Error 37 has even been seen trending on Twitter world wide it’s been so common.  Unfortunately there’s no real solution for Error 37 so just keep trying.

As of 2:16 PM PST on launch day, Blizzard took the servers offline to perform emergency maintenance and continue to deploy more servers.  They’re expecting to see the servers back online around 3:30 PST, and they’re hoping to be prepared for the onslaught of log ins this time.

Update: The servers are still causing problems and have gone down again around 8:30 PST.

I’ve defeated Error’s 37 and 75 but I can’t seem to conjure up enough force to defeat the mighty Error 317002.  So while I sit awhile and listen, I figured I would compile a post with all of the Error’s so far and any solutions that have been found for them.  There are some error’s that have solutions, while others are just the result of too much stress on the servers.  We’ll start with the most common ones.

Error 37 – Unfortunately there’s nothing you can do about this one.  It just means that the servers are busy and you’ll need to try again later.

Error 75 – This one started appearing several hours into the launch when they were performing emergency maintenance.  It means that there’s a temporary outage, once again just try later.

Error 3006 – I’m getting this quite often when trying to resume the game, it’s a time out of some sort but I don’t have any other information on it at this time.

Error 317002 – This happens when you try to log a hero into the game, no known solution at this time.

That’s all I have so far – I’ll keeping adding to the list.

After taking a break for a brief lunch (I know, bad idea) I’m trying to log back in and the games cycling between Error 37 and Error 75 now.  I haven’t been able to find a cure for either error other than just trying again.  Error 37 means that the servers are busy, but I’m not sure exactly what Error 75 means.  I’ll update this post as I get more details – but the best advice I can give you is to keep trying.  Once you get past the combo of Error 37 and Error 75 you’ll sit at the hero select for awhile.  As of the writing of this post they’re performing emergency maintenance on the North American servers that will hopefully fix the connection issues.

Update: Error 75 describes a temporary outage of the Battle.net servers.  Basically – no solution just try again.

If you’re anything like the legions of people trying to play Diablo III right now, you’re likely being hit with Error 37 when trying to log in.  There’s a lot of people trying to find answers right now and Blizzard’s site is down so I just wanted to take a quick moment to explain the error.  If you’re getting Error 37 it just means the server is busy right now and you just need to keep trying.  Once you get onto the hero select screen you’ll likely get error’s 30008 and 3006 – just keep trying to create your hero and eventually you’ll get in.

The day that we’ve all been waiting for for over a decade has finally arrived, and I can’t wait to actually log in and start playing.  As I write this post we’re around 11 hours from being able to play so make sure you’re ready.  Blizzard has posted up a launch day guide that should help you download and install the game if you’ve already purchased your digital copy.  For those of you that are picking it up at a retail store, make sure you pay attention to the 12:01 PST server launch.  Depending on where you are in the world you won’t be able to play the game immediately upon buying it tonight.

I’ll be updating this post as I play through the game over the next few days and assigning a score once I’ve completed enough of the game to judge it.  I’ll do my best to keep my Diablo fan boy bias and the fact that I’ve been waiting over a decade for this game to come out to the side while I give you the most unbiased review I possibly can.  I’ve already played through the beta and so far it’s lived up to all of my expectations.  I’m really interested to see how the real money auction house and PvP in the game will play out, although we’ll all have to wait for the PvP patch to be able to check that out.

In the mean time make sure you check out our Diablo III Primer Post and get ready for the sky to fall once more.

Like this jacket? Okay. That'll be $1,300 bucks, please.

Do you remember a while back all that hubbub regarding the Japanese special edition of Resident Evil 6? The one that cost around $1,300 or so in U.S. dollars and essentially contained the game, some special bonus stuff/artwork and a really corny-looking jacket? Yeah, that.

Well, apparently, Capcom is considering bringing that special edition pack to the USA after all. Presumably because they think people would actually consider buying it.

Per the Capcom Unity blog:

“Many of you have probably caught wind by now that, in Japan, you can buy a Resident Evil 6 Premium Edition, containing a variety of posh items including a faithful replica of Leon’s leather jacket and four tablet covers. You may have also caught wind that this collection goes for the extravagant price of 105,000 yen, or close to $1,300.

“Well, it seems our Capcom Store guy is thinking of importing a couple of these bad-boys over Stateside, but since they’re such luxury items, we want to gauge interest before he does that. So here’s the question: Given the price point, would you be interested in this item?”

Um, no. Not at all. And isn’t that a tad expensive for a frigging jacket?

While I appreciate the concept of what Capcom is trying to do here, I just don’t think it’s feasible to even consider this being popular enough to warrant being made available. Japanese and American gamers are two incredibly different breeds. Whereas they like things like this that they can collect and enjoy outside of the game, we tend to steer clear of anything that isn’t of an obvious and immediate value.

Seriously, though. I can’t get over the fact that this whole thing is essentially paying $1,300 dollars for a replica Leon Kennedy jacket. Like… really? Is this real life?

What do you guys (and gals!) all think? Am I taking the right line here or do you think there’s actually a market — a rabid, probably-clinically-insane-market — for this type of thing in the States? If you agree with me, what do you think would make the special edition pack be worth shelling out almost a G-and-a-half for?

I highly doubt this is actually going to even come Stateside. But regardless, stay tuned here on OWNT for any and all news and updates regarding this particular story and all of your other favorite games!

If you’ve been crossing your fingers together lately hoping for a full-on Saints Row: The Third expansion pack (in lieu of just another downloadable content episode), well… we have some good news for you. THQ and Volition officially announced the upcoming expansion pack’s existence recently on the SaintsRow.com blog. And it’s called Saints Row: The Third — Enter the Dominatrix.

Wait... what?

I know. I thought it sounded a lot like some kind of straight-to-the-bargain-DVD-bin porn movie or something as well. But let’s go ahead and hear it straight from the source in regards to the nitty-gritty details of this “expansion”, shall we? Because, well… you’ll see. But it’s frigging awesome!

“Slated for release on Xbox 360, PlayStation 3 and PC, for a suggested retail price of $29.99, Saints Row: The Third – Enter The Dominatrix takes the award-winning, over-the-top action of Saints Row: The Third and adds the most requested gameplay features from the Saints Row community: freaking super powers.”

Yup. That’s right. Frigging super powers! They go on to say:

“Saints Row: The Third – Enter the Dominatrix picks up immediately following the events of Saints Row: The Third. For centuries, alien warlord Zinyak has eyed Earth and its precious natural resources and females with a watchful eye. As he prepares an armada for invasion, he has only one worry: the Third Street Saints.

“Once a simple street gang from Stilwater, the Saints have evolved into a global empire, replete with bombastic TV advertising and tasteful consumer products, the kind of TV advertising and consumer products that would give any alien warlord pause. Clearly, the Saints are the biggest badasses on Earth.”

Okay, so I can’t post the whole damn thing. Because that stuff, I’m pretty sure, is borderline illegal. I can wholeheartedly direct you over to the official announcement on the official Saints Row website via the aforementioned link above, however!

Now, a lot of people reacted very differently to Saints Row: The Third. Some people liked it for it’s zany nature and knack for being able to not take itself too seriously, while still others couldn’t really get into it because they wanted something more along the lines of a super-serious Grand Theft Auto 4 clone.

Regardless of which camp you ultimately found yourselves in, I think I speak for all of us when I say that regardless of these very strong gaming tastes, if you go and put super powers in a game that’s as well-crafted and designed as Saints Row: The Third and you’re going to pique a lot of people’s interests. I didn’t even really like the main game very much, despite honestly enjoying various parts of the game for what they were and ultimately attempted to accomplish, but super powers? That’s just genius.

Pure. Frigging. Genius.

The marketing team over at THG and/or Volition ought to be patting themselves on the back quite heartily right now. Because they deserve it.

Definitely stay tuned here on OWNT for any and all updates for the Saints Row: The Third – 

“Damn it, I wish you people would just leave me alone! I…oh, you’re new here, aren’t you?”

Welcome to the world of Sanctuary! Kindly refrain from taking the name literally. Thanks in advance.

First things first. I’m fully aware that not everyone reading this is a huge Diablo III fan and/or has even played either of the first two installments. Do you want to know how I know this? Well, it’s because I’ve never played Diablo or Diablo II. I know, I know — a travesty of the highest order. But whatever. I’ve always been about 4-5 years behind on current PC gaming technology. Or at least until now. *fistpump*

In the interests of catering to the folk who aren’t as privy to the Diablo universe as most others (just like I was not so long ago), this Diablo III Preview Extravaganza is going to take on the form of a question-and-answer session. Or at least, it’ll start out as a question-and-answer session. I’m not making any promises as to which other — if any — completely random directions things may or may not take. But I do promise that it’ll be a good time. You can write that shit down in red crayon and take it to the frigging bank, son!

True, I’ll essentially be asking myself questions and then subsequently answering them, but I think the simple fact that I’m brand-spanking-new to this whole sub-culture as well will make it work. Or at least… that’s what I’m truly hoping will happen. And stop asking questions like that — you’re being annoying. But anyway, I think it’s about time to get this party started, boys and girls. So let’s get right into it and let the good times roll — right over the undead spawn en route to an awesome, extremely sparkly-shiny, loot-packed treasure chest!

Author’s note: We didn’t lie when we decided to call this a preview “extravaganza”. In translation, it’s… long. Like… really, really long. As in, you’re probably going to want to print this out and read it with your cereal, dessert or while in the restroom for an extended period of time. Or if you need to look really busy whilst on your smartphone. Regardless, please do enjoy!

Why Should I Care About This… This… Diablo III?

Oh you. You should care about this Diablo III because it’s the latest iteration in arguably one of the most important game franchises ever made. In the history of franchises. There’s a reason practically every action-RPG with a focus on excessively-obsessive inventory/loot management is referred to as a Diablo clone. Even with it being — what — about a decade since the last game release? Yeah, that’s right. What now, son?

Okay, So How Much Is This Game Going to Cost Me? Is It Pay-to-Play Each Month Style or a Straight-Up, One-Time Purchase Type Deal?

Thankfully for those of us with a multitude of bills to pay and/or kids, it’s a one-time purchase (whoop-whoop!). Although, due to the newly implemented in-game/cash auction house for selling loot and items, you’re going to have to be connected to the Internet at all times whilst playing Diablo III. Which I guess would have been much more drastic and controversial-sounding back when Diablo II was released in 2000… but whatever. It’s certainly worth knowing about going in at the very least. The game itself will run the standard $59.99 and you can either purchase it old-school style at an actual store or get-with-the-2012-program-yo and just download it after buying it online. The choice is yours. Just make sure you buy the damn thing!

Okay, So What’s The Gameplay Like? Can I Customize My Character and Shit?

Whoa, buddy. Watch the language, will ya? There are ladies present! But yes, you can customize your character “and shit”. As for the gameplay? Well, to say that it’s akin to your above-average, action-RPG dungeon crawler would be a grievous understatement. This isn’t just akin to that — this is essentially the grand-daddy of all of those other above-average, action-RPG dungeon crawlers. A true O.G., if you will.

Essentially, you’ll choose from one of five available character classes from the outset: the witch doctor, the barbarian, the wizard, the monk and the demon hunter. But don’t think this curtails the customization side of things, because there are literally dozens upon dozensof different ways to customize each class to best fit your playing style. Want to sling magic but also be able to hold your own up close in melee combat with a wizard? Sure, no problem. Want a beastly intimidating barbarian that sacrifices brute power for a more defensive frame of mind? You got it, friend!

Hey, uh... good luck with that whole saving the world from all those demon monster creature spawn... things. You guys look great! I mean it -- you look wicked heroic and stuff!

Quite literally, the sky’s the limit when it comes to whatever kind of character you want to play. Just ask yourself how you think you’d most enjoy playing through the game with then pick the requisite or best-fitting character class. Then just level-up, customize, rinse, wash and repeat from there. Easy as pie! The fact that there’s oodles and oodles of loot to be found, awarded or stolen just adds yet another layer to an already very-deeply-rewarding process.

My PC Kind of Sucks if You Catch My Meaning. Will I Be Able to Play Diablo III? Like, Should I Not Even Check?

I feel your pain my good friend. I feel your pain. You see, I was once like you. I had a computer that could barely run Nintendo 64/Playstation One emulated games on its best day. Unfortunately, Diablo III – while not the most graphically demanding game in the current lineup of mostly graphically demanding PC games — will need a relatively decent rig to run the game smoothly. If you’re unsure of the specs side of things, don’t want to have to write down all of said specs and compare them to some random list or have an extremely, laughably awful memory like me, simply click right here and select Diablo III from the drop-down. A Java scan of your computer will automate the process for you and give you the verdict after a few moments. I wish you the best of luck, good sir (or lady)!

Is There Anything Else I Need to Know About Diablo III?

Other than the fact that you absolutely, positively must get the damn game? Actually… yes, yes there is. There are actually quite a bit more things that you’d likely want or need to know. Also, because I’ve run out of reasonable, kind-of witty questions to ask myself, I’ve amassed all of this additional info below with the help of our good friend the bullet system. And yes, this was entirely fabricated so I could just have an excuse to use the bullet system. I just like using bullets —  I don’t really know what else there is that I can say. You wanna fight about it? Cue em!

• Story-wise, the game takes place — just like it always has — in the world of Sanctuary (which, yes, is astonishingly, darkly ironic). This world was saved by a bunch of unnamed heroes some twenty years prior, which officially chronicles/summarizes everything that happened in Diablo II, canon-wise. Diablo III speeds us up to the present day and it’s now up to you (yeah, that’s right — YOU!) to fill a role within the group of a new generation of world saving, kind of laughably overdressed heroes. Or at least, you’re hoping you’ll be able to save the world. There’s no guarantees of such things in the world of Sanctuary, brave traveler.

• In addition to what’s conceivably a ridiculously, obscenely large number of items available throughout the entire game is the all-new crafting system. In short, you can use any junk that you’ve collected in your travels in order to make totally-not-junk-anymore items courtesy of special crafting NPC’s scattered throughout the land. As if the item/loot portion of the game needed to become any more addicting… I mean, come on!

• For those of you who like to die an awful lot — or like to replay certain games on a progressively harder difficulty to give yourself more of a challenge or something (see also: die a lot more than you did originally) — Blizzard has included an aptly named Inferno mode. Presumably available after completing the game on either the Nightmare or Hell modes, Inferno mode is essentially akin to the Legendary level of difficulty in the Halo series of games. Although to be fair, I would think that both of either Nightmare or Hell modes would be ranked more difficult than Inferno just based on the names themselves, but I’m also a huge vocabulary dork, so… by all means… don’t mind me.

• You can choose one of three different NPC followers to… well… follow you around during your exploits throughout the world of Sanctuary. These followers consist of Kormac the Templar, Lyndon the Scoundrel and Eirena the Enchantress — or, in layman’s terms, the tank, the rogue and the mage. Only one follower may be utilized as a follower at any given time  so expect a strategic aspect in regards to choosing which of the followers will undertake a particular quest with you. Understandably, though, followers will not be accompanying you within your co-op games because you already have actual people to follow you around in that mode instead, silly!

Dude looks pretty legit...

• Although not officially confirmed yet, Blizzard has gone on record stating that the company is actively “pursuing” a console port version of Diablo III. Which would be absolutely bat-shit-crazy-insane and would also probably cause the universe to implode or something. In a good way, though. So let’s keep our fingers crossed on that one!

• Diablo III is officially set to release this coming Tuesday, May 15th, 2012. A la, just over four or so days from now. So, consider yourself lucky if you’ve just stumbled upon the Diablo franchise because series fan veterans have been waiting since oh, around 2001 for this sequel. Yes, that’s right — 2001! More than a decade ago! The poor things…

• Yes, Diablo himself will apparently appear in the game at some point in addition to the Archangel Imperius. Whoever that is. No doubt, he sounds like a straight frigging badass, though. Apologies if I just caused the collective Diablo fanboy/gal-base to have a collective conniption. But my heart’s in the right place, I swear!

Sick of bullets yet? Okay then. It’s actually about that time to bring this wonderful Diablo III Preview Extravaganza to a close anyway. I know, I know, we’ve had an absolute blast. But it’s okay! Because we can continue the fun in the comments below. Definitely feel free to discuss anything your heart desires about this blockbuster PC gaming release in the comments below. Seriously, that’s what they’re there for. And you can potentially win a Gamestop Gift Card by simply posting a bunch of comments, so it’s really a no-brainer if you think about it — what with the free shit and all.

You can also stay tuned right here on OWNT for an in-depth review sometime in the middle of next week. In addition, of course, to any other news, rumors and/or sheer, baseless speculation following the highly, highly anticipated Diablo III launch next Tuesday as well. If you haven’t bookmarked us yet then you’re doing it wrong. So go ahead and commit already, won’t ya?

Until next time ladies and gentleman, thank you for reading (all three of you who actually read to the end)!

Well, incoming as in it will be here tomorrow. Normally I wouldn’t relegate an entire post to informing all of you to expect a particular preview, review or other kind of feature at a specific time (usually the next day) but… okay, fine. I do that all the time. But we’re not here to talk about such things, okay?

No caption is needed. So uhh... just... kindly ignore this one. Thanks!

If you’re not aware of how big, how hugely, rabidly anticipated the upcoming Diablo III PC title is then, well… I don’t even know what to tell you. You’re certainly missing out. Which I would have been no doubt doing if my wonderful boss, Mr. Jeremiah Cooper, hadn’t gone out and purchased me an entire desktop rig setup so I could cover these types of big-time PC games here on OWNT. Thank you again, good sir!

Anyway, Diablo III is going to be big. It’s going to be huge. It’s going to frigging rock your socks off. It may very well also get you fired from your job, broken up or divorced from your significant other or spouse or — I don’t even know. All I know is that I wasn’t very excited about this game until recently — mainly because I could barely run a Playstation 1 emulator on my old computer setup — and now I’m getting all of these insanely excited and giddy emotions all at once. So apologies if I’m all over the place — even though I don’t really care very much.

But yeah — in order to satiate and harness this insanely powerful energy and excitement, I’ve begun working on the definitive Diablo III preview to end all previews. It’s going to be so amazing, in-depth and informative that I can’t even bring myself to call it a simple preview. Hence the whole working Diablo III Blowout Preview Extravaganza title. Seriously, go ahead and try and tell me that doesn’t sound like an incredibly good and entertaining time with a straight face. I dare you. Exactly, that’s what I thought.

I know what you’re thinking — you’re thinking, “But Josh, when can I expect this awesome preview blowout extravaganza? You’ve got me all excited and super looking forward to it!”

Don’t fear my friend. You can expect our official Diablo III Blowout Preview Extravaganza to go live sometime late tomorrow afternoon or early evening. Eastern Standard Time (EST). *kindly insert imaginary flashing of the East Side gang sign here*

Seriously, though. You don’t want to miss out on this. Unless of course you’re not looking forward to Diablo III at all — in which case… I don’t even think I know you anymore.

See ya then!