I know, I know, I’m a day late. Cut me some slack, I broke 3 toes today. No punchline here, only pain, kinda like this weeks releases, amiright?! Yeah? No? Psch, whatever.

Coming out this week:

Dead or Alive 5 — September 25th for PS3 & X360
If you like women in bikini’s kicking the living shit out of each other, you’ll probably like this! If you’re more into ‘the art’ of fighting games, though, you might wanna skip this and keep to Tekken Tag Tournament 2, which I hear is pretty good.

Disney Princess: My Fairytale Adventure — September 25th for PC, Wii & 3DS
What with the growing general interest in broniism and whatnot, I imagine any degrading comments I could make about these sorts of kid-friendly games will sooner or later result in management calling down to me from their cloud of dollars and telling me to cool down a little. That day hasn’t arrived yet, though, so if you’re expecting any real information about this game…what is wrong with you?! Ah, I kid, I kid. I actually watched a couple of episodes of My Little Pony with my niece a few months ago and you know what? That show is entertaining enough that I get why some people would be attracted to it. Apart from obscene animated crushes, though, I don’t know what people’s deal is with Disney Princesses…

DragonBall Z for Kinect — September 25th for X360
Namco Bandai refused to respond to my query as to whether DBZ for Kinect would cost “OVER NINE-THOUSAND (DOLLARS)”.  I probably wouldn’t have responded to such a question either, to be fair.

FIFA Soccer 13 – September 25th for PC, PS3, PSP, X360, 3DS
Over here in Britain, this game is just referred to as FIFA because ‘soccer’ is not a word. You crazy Americans.

Final Fantasy III —  September 25th for PSP
In Square Enix’s eternal quest to bring every FF game to the PSP, no matter how out-dated the hardware may seem to the rest of us, FFIII follows suit.

Grand Theft Auto III — September 25th for PSN
A part of me is still trying to comprehend how GTAIII wasn’t already on PSN. Does this mean that Vice City and San Andreas aren’t on there either? WHAT SORT OF WORLD ARE WE LIVING IN?!

LittleBigPlanet PS Vita — September 25th for PSVita
New rule: I’m not going to comment on any title that includes the name of the system it is being featured on within its title because you probably already know what to expect. Starting…Now.

One Piece: Pirate Warriors — September 25th for PS3
Apparently One Piece is a manga, rather than a swimsuit, as I first assumed. However, because that manga is not Ghost in the Shell, Akira, Battle Royale or something, you know, recognisable, I can’t say I care about this game. Probably doesn’t matter because word on the vine is that it’s not very good.

Pro Evolution Soccer 2013 — September 25th for PC, PS2, PS3, PSP, X360, Wii & 3DS
That’s right…they’re still making games for the PS2. Inorite?! I was surprised too.

Realms of Ancient War — September 25th for PS3
RAW (okay, that’s kinda cool) sounds pretty blase, so let’s take a look at one of Wizarbox’s previous titles, So Blonde.

Sunny Blonde is a 17-year-old teenager who has been spoiled by her rich parents. On a cruise with her parents who are celebrating their wedding anniversary, the ship is struck by lightning, and she is knocked overboard. She finds herself stranded on a beach of a remote “Forgotten Island” in the Caribbean Sea.

Holy crap, did they create the upcoming Tomb Raider 6 years before Crystal Dynamics?!

She is totally alone and worrying about her nails and messy make-up

…maybe not…

 The Testament of Sherlock Holmes — September 25th for PC, PSC, X360
Alright, that’s it. After seeing the Sherlock Holmes vs Jack the Ripper game cover all over the place for years, I’m officially hella curious as to what these games are. I’ll probably take a look at some point later this month/week/year/sometime in the future. I promise.

 Tokyo Jungle — September 25th for PSN
From what I understand Tokyo Jungle is set after humans have left planet Earth and follows the plight of the animals left to fend for themselves against each other in the streets of Tokyo. This sounds half bizarre, half awesome, all Japanese.

Warrior’s Lair — September 25th for PS3
If you didn’t already get your isometric RPG fix from Torchlight 2 last week, Sony got your back with…well, another isometric RPG…

World of Warcraft: Mists of Pandaria – September 25th for PC, Mac
I do not care for WoW but the CG trauker they released for MoP really had me curious as to how Blizzard would handle the opportunity to make their own WoW movie, because hey, I think it’d be pretty awesome.

Bad Piggies — September 27th for iOS, Mac, PC
Anybody here ever play Angry Birds? A couple of you, yeah? Here…have a sequel. Then tell me how you play this on a PC?

The DENPA Men: They Came By Wave — September 27th for 3DS
Uhhh… this is a role playing game in which you play as the DENPA men and is that supposed to mean anything to anybody? Oh, Japan…sometimes I just don’t know what to do with you!

Everyone Sing — September 27th for PS3, X360 and Wii
Until a karaoke game includes the following, I don’t care about karaoke games:

Catch you guys next week.