Did somebody say games? No? Well, I’m gonna, so whatever. The weekly latecast of me bringing you fine people the latest games late continues unabated, with a full two day lateness this week! I swear, one day, I’ll get my schedule sorted out so that I have time on Sundays but until then, enjoy the guessing game.

Of note, I actually followed up on my comment last week about The Testament of Sherlock Holmes and…yeah, that game isn’t great. Probably coulda called that, but hey, you never know until you try it, right?

Anyway, that’s old news. Onto this week!

Coming out this week:

Carrier Command: Gaea Mission – October 2nd for PC & X360
This remake of the original 1988 Carrier Command is curiously being developed by the same developer, Bohemia Interactive, that created the first, leading me to wonder whether or not this is a real remake, or more of a reboot. But, hey, who am I to argue with Bohemia after the revitalised success that Arma II had had since DayZ‘s release, not to mention the impending DayZ retail release?

NBA 2K13 — October 2nd for PC, PS3, PSP, X360 & Wii
You guys like Basketball, right? Well here comes the biggest Basketball release of the year to not come packaged with a free basketball! Hell, it’ll still probably be bigger than NBA Baller Beats, because really, who the hell bought NBA Baller Beats?

New Little King’s Story — October 2nd for PSVita
The sequel to the Wii’s Little King’s Story will, according to Japanese magazine Famitsu, have “love elements, along with new visual stylings for its characters.” Without delving into press material, that’s all I could find about NLKS (although, let’s face it, that quote is just about the press-iest thing anybody could ever say about a JRPG.)

NiGHTS into Dreams… — October 2nd for PSN, October 5th for XBLA
One of the top selling games from the Saturn era comes to your Hard-Drive on digital platforms! Includes levels from some weird expansion thing called Christmas Nights! Can you tell I have no interest in this game at all?!

Resident Evil 6 — October 2nd for PS3 & X360
Speaking of games I (and the rest of the OWNT staff) have no interest in, there’s Resident Evil 6. In the coming months, we’re planning to get reviews out for all the major releases, but honestly…I don’t think there’s any point to an RE6 review. From what I understand of the series, you need to have a longstanding relationship with Resident Evil to comment on this title, which I don’t think any of us have, and the reception it’s received so far has been polarizing enough that if you’re really on the fence (after what I understand was an utterly abysmal demo), you should probably read the review from somebody who actually knows what they’re talking about. Might sound like some sort of a cop-out, but hey, full disclosure is a thing, so there you go.

Sonic Adventure 2 — October 2nd for PSN, October 5th for XBLA
I’m gonna go out on a professional limb here and make what other people have led me to believe is a controversial opinion: Fuck Sonic. I hate Sonic. I’ve never liked Sonic and I don’t get the appeal. Maybe my reflexes just kinda suck and I’m looking to blame the game, but I’ve never had a great deal of difficulty with other games based on speed, like say Burnout. If you do like the little furry hedgehog, though, here, take some classic Dreamcast era Sonic, and enjoy! Wait, when did the Dreamcast become classic? Sheeesh.

Port Royale 3 — October 4th for PS3 & X360
Port Royale is apparently a business simulation game and I’m already bored. Except for maybe you can be a pirate! Which isn’t boring. But if you can’t, this is probably a game solely for the businessy sorts, like OWNT’s founder Coop, because I guarantee he’s the only one on staff who knows how to turn a profit. The only one.

Remington’s Super Slam Ultimate Sportsman Challenge — October 5th for PS3 & X360
Hey, you! Are you so sports?! Yeah, but are you ultimate sports?! Yeah, but are you SUPER SLAM ULTIMATE SPORTS?! Then go out and buy this goddamn light-gun game. Maybe lay off the adrenaline inducers as well, the veins in your neck are freaking me the hell out.

Pokémon Dream Radar – October 7th for 3DS
This downloadable Pokémon game barely seems to be an actual game, and more a sort of AR-enhanced DLC for the real Pokémon game that comes out this week. See below.

Pokémon: Black & White Version 2 — October 7th for NDS
Well, they made another Pokémon game. This one, believe it or not, is a Japanese Role Playing Game in which you collect pocket monsters and utilize their varied skills in pitting them through inhumane duels with their kin, before enslaving them within miniature balls that would fail to pass Geneva Convention standards for Prisoner of War containment! You know if you’re buying this or not already.

OH! Before I forget, I think The Walking Dead: Episode Four is coming out this week. Just watch me be wrong.

Well, that’s Your Week in Games. See you next week. Maybe on time this week.

I know, I know, I’m a day late. Cut me some slack, I broke 3 toes today. No punchline here, only pain, kinda like this weeks releases, amiright?! Yeah? No? Psch, whatever.

Coming out this week:

Dead or Alive 5 — September 25th for PS3 & X360
If you like women in bikini’s kicking the living shit out of each other, you’ll probably like this! If you’re more into ‘the art’ of fighting games, though, you might wanna skip this and keep to Tekken Tag Tournament 2, which I hear is pretty good.

Disney Princess: My Fairytale Adventure — September 25th for PC, Wii & 3DS
What with the growing general interest in broniism and whatnot, I imagine any degrading comments I could make about these sorts of kid-friendly games will sooner or later result in management calling down to me from their cloud of dollars and telling me to cool down a little. That day hasn’t arrived yet, though, so if you’re expecting any real information about this game…what is wrong with you?! Ah, I kid, I kid. I actually watched a couple of episodes of My Little Pony with my niece a few months ago and you know what? That show is entertaining enough that I get why some people would be attracted to it. Apart from obscene animated crushes, though, I don’t know what people’s deal is with Disney Princesses…

DragonBall Z for Kinect — September 25th for X360
Namco Bandai refused to respond to my query as to whether DBZ for Kinect would cost “OVER NINE-THOUSAND (DOLLARS)”.  I probably wouldn’t have responded to such a question either, to be fair.

FIFA Soccer 13 – September 25th for PC, PS3, PSP, X360, 3DS
Over here in Britain, this game is just referred to as FIFA because ‘soccer’ is not a word. You crazy Americans.

Final Fantasy III —  September 25th for PSP
In Square Enix’s eternal quest to bring every FF game to the PSP, no matter how out-dated the hardware may seem to the rest of us, FFIII follows suit.

Grand Theft Auto III — September 25th for PSN
A part of me is still trying to comprehend how GTAIII wasn’t already on PSN. Does this mean that Vice City and San Andreas aren’t on there either? WHAT SORT OF WORLD ARE WE LIVING IN?!

LittleBigPlanet PS Vita — September 25th for PSVita
New rule: I’m not going to comment on any title that includes the name of the system it is being featured on within its title because you probably already know what to expect. Starting…Now.

One Piece: Pirate Warriors — September 25th for PS3
Apparently One Piece is a manga, rather than a swimsuit, as I first assumed. However, because that manga is not Ghost in the Shell, Akira, Battle Royale or something, you know, recognisable, I can’t say I care about this game. Probably doesn’t matter because word on the vine is that it’s not very good.

Pro Evolution Soccer 2013 — September 25th for PC, PS2, PS3, PSP, X360, Wii & 3DS
That’s right…they’re still making games for the PS2. Inorite?! I was surprised too.

Realms of Ancient War — September 25th for PS3
RAW (okay, that’s kinda cool) sounds pretty blase, so let’s take a look at one of Wizarbox’s previous titles, So Blonde.

Sunny Blonde is a 17-year-old teenager who has been spoiled by her rich parents. On a cruise with her parents who are celebrating their wedding anniversary, the ship is struck by lightning, and she is knocked overboard. She finds herself stranded on a beach of a remote “Forgotten Island” in the Caribbean Sea.

Holy crap, did they create the upcoming Tomb Raider 6 years before Crystal Dynamics?!

She is totally alone and worrying about her nails and messy make-up

…maybe not…

 The Testament of Sherlock Holmes — September 25th for PC, PSC, X360
Alright, that’s it. After seeing the Sherlock Holmes vs Jack the Ripper game cover all over the place for years, I’m officially hella curious as to what these games are. I’ll probably take a look at some point later this month/week/year/sometime in the future. I promise.

 Tokyo Jungle — September 25th for PSN
From what I understand Tokyo Jungle is set after humans have left planet Earth and follows the plight of the animals left to fend for themselves against each other in the streets of Tokyo. This sounds half bizarre, half awesome, all Japanese.

Warrior’s Lair — September 25th for PS3
If you didn’t already get your isometric RPG fix from Torchlight 2 last week, Sony got your back with…well, another isometric RPG…

World of Warcraft: Mists of Pandaria – September 25th for PC, Mac
I do not care for WoW but the CG trauker they released for MoP really had me curious as to how Blizzard would handle the opportunity to make their own WoW movie, because hey, I think it’d be pretty awesome.

Bad Piggies — September 27th for iOS, Mac, PC
Anybody here ever play Angry Birds? A couple of you, yeah? Here…have a sequel. Then tell me how you play this on a PC?

The DENPA Men: They Came By Wave — September 27th for 3DS
Uhhh… this is a role playing game in which you play as the DENPA men and is that supposed to mean anything to anybody? Oh, Japan…sometimes I just don’t know what to do with you!

Everyone Sing — September 27th for PS3, X360 and Wii
Until a karaoke game includes the following, I don’t care about karaoke games:

Catch you guys next week.

Short post this week, as there’s very little coming out at all. Something worth noting is that the ‘Walking Dead Guessing Game’ I’ve been playing for a few weeks is going to be absent for a while because…well, the game came out. Expect a review in the coming days. Heads up: It’s pretty good so if you’re invested after the first few episodes of Telltale’s game, you’d be crazy to miss it.

Coming out this week:

Shad’O – September 4th for PC
The Inception-geek in me is sold on the idea of following the story of a 9 -year-old  boy being lost in his own mind and fighting to save his memory. At the same time, I cannot use words to explain how little I care for the tower-defense genre. It’s just one of those types of games that I’ve never found myself caring for. Still, if that’s your thing, perhaps Shad’O‘s distinctive art style will find you willing to search up Steam for a copy.

The Sims 3: Supernatural Limited Edition – September 4th for Mac & PC
Christ, do any serious gamers still play The Sims? I’ve never dabbled much more than the occasional 5-10 minutes at a time. I have a similar problem with Minecraft, that there’s a lack of incentive or objective…I need a game in my games, so these ‘extreme-sandbox’ titles really leave me spinning my wheels. For those that still enjoy clicking two avatars and watching them have very PG-sex, though, the Supernatural Edition adds…’werewolves, fairies, witches and more’. So I’m far from sold.

Zen Pinball 2 – September 4th for PS3 & PSVita
Alright, let’s get this out in the open, so that for all future pinball releases, I can just link straight back here: I don’t understand the notion of playing pinball video-games. I mean, yeah, not everybody has a pinball machine at home (or at least I sure as hell don’t) but there’s something about the physics of the game ‘pinball’ that make a vitualized counterpart seem inherently wrong to me. Maybe it’s just me.
The coolest thing about this title from the PopCap behemoth of casual games is that if you already own Zen Pinball or Marvel Pinball, you’ll receive an update to ZP2 for free. So, there’s that.

Dogfight 1942 – September 5th for XBLA
What is the deal with all these WWII flight sims? Is there some totally loyal audience that goes out of there way to keep this mini-industry unto itself afloat? Either somebody’s doing something right or these developers are losing a whole mess of cash. Dogfight‘s selling point seems to be that you can play on both sides of the aerial conflict, whether your preference play out as the Axis, Allied or both. I don’t think I could take these sorts of games seriously, having found myself pretty far removed from WWII games in the past five years or so but even I can admit ‘Dogfight‘ is a pretty damn cool title.

Kung Fu Strike: The Warrior’s Rise – September 5th for XBLA
I feel like I should give Kung Fu Strike a chance. After my not so glorious turn with Sleeping Dogs (thanks again for all the hate mail, guys!) I found myself in a real heavy martial arts place, re-watching some of my favorite Chinese kung-fu flicks. That said, knowing that KFS was released two months ago on PC has me inclined to check out that release instead and also…there’s very little about KFS that looks particularly worthwhile. If I bother, I’ll let you guys know.

The Lord of the Rings Online: Riders of Rohan – September 5th for PC
If there is a single MMO I will check out when I finish building my PC later this week…it won’t be LotR: Online. It’ll probably be Guild Wars 2. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves, I’ll probably not be playing any MMO’s anytime soon, but a Riders of Rohan expansion is probably the worst way to sell me on an LotR MMMO. How offensively boring are the Riders of Rohan? Give me a Tom Bombadil themed expansion and maybe I’ll reconsider…
No. I won’t.

Trine 2: Goblin Menace – September 6th for Mac & PC
Trine is, to this day, still one of those downloadable games I have every intent on playing, but the more I hear about Trine 2, the more I find myself put off. Wasn’t this game supposed to come out over a year ago? Is it ever coming to consoles? Not to mention that every time I hear the word goblin,  I immediately think of David Bowie in the 80′s flick Labyrinth. If I’m thinking about Labyrinth, things have probably gone wrong somewhere.

Closure - September 7th for Mac & PC
Alright, I like to do enough research on every game featured here to be able to say something, anything. It doesn’t matter whether I’m fooling around or if I genuinely have something to say about the game itself. With that in mind, the following is literally all I could find out about Closure:

Closure is a unique and stylistic puzzle platformer that takes the concept of light and shadow and twists it up into something never before seen.

Uh, good. I think?

Like I said, relatively small week right now. There are a few larger titles next week but by and large, nothing to look forward to quite yet. Catch you guys later, and stay tuned to OWNT for, you know, stuff.

Woah, more games are coming out this week?! I still need to finish and review Sleeping Dogs before I start worrying about anything else. Speaking of reviews, we should be getting Darksiders II and Transformers: Fall of Cybertron reviews up in the coming days. Games, man. They’re like the future!

What isn’t like the future, however, is half of the games coming out this week. If you happen to be brand new to the Playstation scene, fear not! Sony have four compilations of previous series’ available for you this week. For everybody else there’s the obligatory niche PC game, the behemoth MMORPG and, of course, Madden. If you aren’t playing something current this week, you’re living in the past!
Unless you’re buying one of those compilations, in which case you’re still living in the past. Or something. I don’t even know anymore…

Coming out this week:

Damage Inc. Pacific Squadron WWII – August 28th for PC, PS3, X360
All I had to learn about Pacific Squadron was that it begins with the Japanese assault on Pearl Harbor and suddenly, I found I don’t care anymore. World War II was an absolute beast of a war, lasting six years, and all that developers can think to do is rehash old ideas? Forgive me if my memory’s hazy but didn’t I play this game nine years ago when it was called Medal of Honor: Rising Sun?
Oh, sorry, what? It’s a flight sim? Hell, now I definitely don’t want to play it.

It’s not often that something appears less interesting than its Michael Bay counterpart.

God of War Saga – August 28th for PS3
All that Sony have done here is prove how much of an utter fool I am for buying the original God of War Collection last year. Whilst that game simply included Kratos’ first two PS2 outings, God of War Saga includes his two PS2 adventures, both PSP titles and PS3′s God of War III. In hindsight it just makes me wonder how much free space was on that original Collection Blu-ray, if they managed to fit an additional three games on it?!

Guild Wars 2 - August 28th for PC
It seems that every news source I can find cite’s Guild Wars 2‘s release date as being the 28th, but everybody I know who plans to play the highly anticipated MMORPG seems to be on the servers already. I don’t know if they pushed the release forward or if it’s some sort of perk, but hey, if you’re super stoked about Guild Wars 2 go forth and…do whatever people do in MMO’s…?

Even I’ll admit, there’s nothing about this picture that isn’t badass.

Infamous Collection — August 28th for PS3
See?! They’re doing it all over again! C’mon, Sony, we know that two games cannot fill a Blu-Ray! How did you ever get away with selling each of these separately?
If you haven’t played the Infamous games, here’s your chance and it’s totally worth it. Infamous 2‘s story is nowhere near on par with the original and sometimes the sequel seems to be relying on reused assets or bland design (you made a supervillain called The Beast a giant magma-man? That’s it?!) but the gameplay is super engaging and tight enough to make these games more than commendable.

Journey Collector’s Edition – August 28th for PS3
For everybody out there who lacks an internet connection to their PS3, here are the two best games available on PSN, with a third outing by the same company that made the former two, but this time on a disc! I’ll admit, I never thought I’d ever see Flower on a disc.
Comprising of the thatgamecompany PSN-trilogy of Flow, Flower and Journey, this package is worth picking up for the latter two alone. They are both truly excellent artistic examples of minimalist game design and have been known to cause religious experiences for large gatherings in Cathedrals. That was not a joke, weirdly enough.

This is just a glimpse of how pretty Journey can be.

Knight Age – August 28th for PC
The guys over at Joymax are either ballsy, ignorant or outright stupid to allow an MMO to go into open beta on the same day that Guild Wars 2 is released. They’re taking on what has frequently been cited and voted as the years most anticipated game. In fact, if I don’t seem to be saying much about Knight Age, it’s because I’ve never heard of it, but I’ve heard of GW2 for a good few years now. Non-stop.

Lights, Camera, Party! – August 28th for PSN
Apparently this Playstation Move title is a fast paced and hilarious party game that involves a satellite crashing into the house of the Funzini family and the owner of the satellite…you guys don’t really care about this, do you? It’s probably not worth your time, but if you’re really desperate for a Move game then here, I guess.

Madden NFL 13 – August 28th for PS3, PSVita, Wii, X360
Last years Madden returns, but this time with more stuff! Or something! I don’t know anything about football!
Look, I’m British, okay guys? All I know about football is that the teams have a certain amount of time to take 100 yards of ground or something like that. And don’t give me any shit about not researching your favorite sport, I don’t even know how soccer works (although I still feel dirty whenever I type that word, urgh.)
I’d totally play NFL Crunchtime, though:

Mass Effect 3 DLC: Leviathan – August 28th for PC, X360
Jesus, does everything come out on this one day?  I still have like another three titles before we get away from the 28th!
Am I the only one who thinks Leviathan seems a little…sketchy? I mean, for those who have seen Leviathan‘s trailer and know the outcome of ME3, doesn’t this seem like it should have been in the main game? I find myself ever so slightly disconcerted by the fact that this DLC seems to take place before the end of the game, but we’ll have to wait and see. Maybe Bioware knows what it’s doing! I mean, I doubt it, but maybe!

Psychonauts – August 28th for PSN
Holy crap, I just realized that I never played Psychonauts.In fact, come to think of it, it’s entirely possible that I’ve never played a Double Fine game. I feel genuinely kind of dirty now.  But I guess now I have no excuse for not playing this psychic epic as of this week. I’ll let you guys know what I think whenever I get around to it.

Cool car, homes!

Ratchet & Clank Collection – August 28th for PS3
It’s a matter of public record that Metal Gear Solid 2 was the first game that I ever really played seriously but the original Ratchet & Clank is the game that showed me that games could still just be a whole lotta fun. I’m not especially crazy about the next two sequels (and Sony seemed disinclined to include the utterly ‘meh’ Ratchet: Deadlocked) but for anyone looking for a slice of classic action-platforming, this should more than satisfy their needs.

Rock Band Blitz – August 28th for PSN, August 29th for XBLA
Ahhh, Rock Band. Every time I think I miss you, I remember that there’s a reason I hung up the insanely expensive money-sink that was plastic instruments. After the relatively underwhelming set-list of Rock Band 3, it makes sense that the emphasis of this downloadable title would be making use of the catalog of songs available on Rock Band Network to build your own playlists.
One thing I will say about Rock Band 3, though, is that it taught me that Elton John is secretly an utter badass:

Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater HD – August 28th for PSN
I can’t pretend to remember much of the time I spent playing Tony Hawk’s in days of old. All I can say for sure is that without the original soundtrack this re-release holds no interest for me. Not one bit.

 Joe Danger: The Movie – August 29th for XBLA
Creating your own action movie, scene by stunterific scene?! Eh, why not. Sounds like dumb fun. Oh, it’s a sequel? Pass. I’m not up to date with the story.

Secret Files 3 – August 31st for PC
Apparently these Secret Files games are fairly popular. I have never heard of them. Not a once. But, hey, if somebody out there wants to continue making point and click adventure games well into the 21st century, they can be my guest. Maybe a series worth looking up on Steam sometime for experimentation and what not.

Wow. That was longer than I ever anticipated. That means there’s a potentially busy week ahead. Obligatory prediction for The Walking Dead: Episode 3 is that we’ll not get it this week. I’m thinking first week of September right now, but be sure to check back at OWNT for any updates.

Are you planning on checking any of these out? Drop the word in the comments, and remember to check back for your next week in games!