Did somebody say games? No? Well, I’m gonna, so whatever. The weekly latecast of me bringing you fine people the latest games late continues unabated, with a full two day lateness this week! I swear, one day, I’ll get my schedule sorted out so that I have time on Sundays but until then, enjoy the guessing game.

Of note, I actually followed up on my comment last week about The Testament of Sherlock Holmes and…yeah, that game isn’t great. Probably coulda called that, but hey, you never know until you try it, right?

Anyway, that’s old news. Onto this week!

Coming out this week:

Carrier Command: Gaea Mission – October 2nd for PC & X360
This remake of the original 1988 Carrier Command is curiously being developed by the same developer, Bohemia Interactive, that created the first, leading me to wonder whether or not this is a real remake, or more of a reboot. But, hey, who am I to argue with Bohemia after the revitalised success that Arma II had had since DayZ‘s release, not to mention the impending DayZ retail release?

NBA 2K13 — October 2nd for PC, PS3, PSP, X360 & Wii
You guys like Basketball, right? Well here comes the biggest Basketball release of the year to not come packaged with a free basketball! Hell, it’ll still probably be bigger than NBA Baller Beats, because really, who the hell bought NBA Baller Beats?

New Little King’s Story — October 2nd for PSVita
The sequel to the Wii’s Little King’s Story will, according to Japanese magazine Famitsu, have “love elements, along with new visual stylings for its characters.” Without delving into press material, that’s all I could find about NLKS (although, let’s face it, that quote is just about the press-iest thing anybody could ever say about a JRPG.)

NiGHTS into Dreams… — October 2nd for PSN, October 5th for XBLA
One of the top selling games from the Saturn era comes to your Hard-Drive on digital platforms! Includes levels from some weird expansion thing called Christmas Nights! Can you tell I have no interest in this game at all?!

Resident Evil 6 — October 2nd for PS3 & X360
Speaking of games I (and the rest of the OWNT staff) have no interest in, there’s Resident Evil 6. In the coming months, we’re planning to get reviews out for all the major releases, but honestly…I don’t think there’s any point to an RE6 review. From what I understand of the series, you need to have a longstanding relationship with Resident Evil to comment on this title, which I don’t think any of us have, and the reception it’s received so far has been polarizing enough that if you’re really on the fence (after what I understand was an utterly abysmal demo), you should probably read the review from somebody who actually knows what they’re talking about. Might sound like some sort of a cop-out, but hey, full disclosure is a thing, so there you go.

Sonic Adventure 2 — October 2nd for PSN, October 5th for XBLA
I’m gonna go out on a professional limb here and make what other people have led me to believe is a controversial opinion: Fuck Sonic. I hate Sonic. I’ve never liked Sonic and I don’t get the appeal. Maybe my reflexes just kinda suck and I’m looking to blame the game, but I’ve never had a great deal of difficulty with other games based on speed, like say Burnout. If you do like the little furry hedgehog, though, here, take some classic Dreamcast era Sonic, and enjoy! Wait, when did the Dreamcast become classic? Sheeesh.

Port Royale 3 — October 4th for PS3 & X360
Port Royale is apparently a business simulation game and I’m already bored. Except for maybe you can be a pirate! Which isn’t boring. But if you can’t, this is probably a game solely for the businessy sorts, like OWNT’s founder Coop, because I guarantee he’s the only one on staff who knows how to turn a profit. The only one.

Remington’s Super Slam Ultimate Sportsman Challenge — October 5th for PS3 & X360
Hey, you! Are you so sports?! Yeah, but are you ultimate sports?! Yeah, but are you SUPER SLAM ULTIMATE SPORTS?! Then go out and buy this goddamn light-gun game. Maybe lay off the adrenaline inducers as well, the veins in your neck are freaking me the hell out.

Pokémon Dream Radar – October 7th for 3DS
This downloadable Pokémon game barely seems to be an actual game, and more a sort of AR-enhanced DLC for the real Pokémon game that comes out this week. See below.

Pokémon: Black & White Version 2 — October 7th for NDS
Well, they made another Pokémon game. This one, believe it or not, is a Japanese Role Playing Game in which you collect pocket monsters and utilize their varied skills in pitting them through inhumane duels with their kin, before enslaving them within miniature balls that would fail to pass Geneva Convention standards for Prisoner of War containment! You know if you’re buying this or not already.

OH! Before I forget, I think The Walking Dead: Episode Four is coming out this week. Just watch me be wrong.

Well, that’s Your Week in Games. See you next week. Maybe on time this week.

I know, I know, I’m a day late. Cut me some slack, I broke 3 toes today. No punchline here, only pain, kinda like this weeks releases, amiright?! Yeah? No? Psch, whatever.

Coming out this week:

Dead or Alive 5 — September 25th for PS3 & X360
If you like women in bikini’s kicking the living shit out of each other, you’ll probably like this! If you’re more into ‘the art’ of fighting games, though, you might wanna skip this and keep to Tekken Tag Tournament 2, which I hear is pretty good.

Disney Princess: My Fairytale Adventure — September 25th for PC, Wii & 3DS
What with the growing general interest in broniism and whatnot, I imagine any degrading comments I could make about these sorts of kid-friendly games will sooner or later result in management calling down to me from their cloud of dollars and telling me to cool down a little. That day hasn’t arrived yet, though, so if you’re expecting any real information about this game…what is wrong with you?! Ah, I kid, I kid. I actually watched a couple of episodes of My Little Pony with my niece a few months ago and you know what? That show is entertaining enough that I get why some people would be attracted to it. Apart from obscene animated crushes, though, I don’t know what people’s deal is with Disney Princesses…

DragonBall Z for Kinect — September 25th for X360
Namco Bandai refused to respond to my query as to whether DBZ for Kinect would cost “OVER NINE-THOUSAND (DOLLARS)”.  I probably wouldn’t have responded to such a question either, to be fair.

FIFA Soccer 13 – September 25th for PC, PS3, PSP, X360, 3DS
Over here in Britain, this game is just referred to as FIFA because ‘soccer’ is not a word. You crazy Americans.

Final Fantasy III —  September 25th for PSP
In Square Enix’s eternal quest to bring every FF game to the PSP, no matter how out-dated the hardware may seem to the rest of us, FFIII follows suit.

Grand Theft Auto III — September 25th for PSN
A part of me is still trying to comprehend how GTAIII wasn’t already on PSN. Does this mean that Vice City and San Andreas aren’t on there either? WHAT SORT OF WORLD ARE WE LIVING IN?!

LittleBigPlanet PS Vita — September 25th for PSVita
New rule: I’m not going to comment on any title that includes the name of the system it is being featured on within its title because you probably already know what to expect. Starting…Now.

One Piece: Pirate Warriors — September 25th for PS3
Apparently One Piece is a manga, rather than a swimsuit, as I first assumed. However, because that manga is not Ghost in the Shell, Akira, Battle Royale or something, you know, recognisable, I can’t say I care about this game. Probably doesn’t matter because word on the vine is that it’s not very good.

Pro Evolution Soccer 2013 — September 25th for PC, PS2, PS3, PSP, X360, Wii & 3DS
That’s right…they’re still making games for the PS2. Inorite?! I was surprised too.

Realms of Ancient War — September 25th for PS3
RAW (okay, that’s kinda cool) sounds pretty blase, so let’s take a look at one of Wizarbox’s previous titles, So Blonde.

Sunny Blonde is a 17-year-old teenager who has been spoiled by her rich parents. On a cruise with her parents who are celebrating their wedding anniversary, the ship is struck by lightning, and she is knocked overboard. She finds herself stranded on a beach of a remote “Forgotten Island” in the Caribbean Sea.

Holy crap, did they create the upcoming Tomb Raider 6 years before Crystal Dynamics?!

She is totally alone and worrying about her nails and messy make-up

…maybe not…

 The Testament of Sherlock Holmes — September 25th for PC, PSC, X360
Alright, that’s it. After seeing the Sherlock Holmes vs Jack the Ripper game cover all over the place for years, I’m officially hella curious as to what these games are. I’ll probably take a look at some point later this month/week/year/sometime in the future. I promise.

 Tokyo Jungle — September 25th for PSN
From what I understand Tokyo Jungle is set after humans have left planet Earth and follows the plight of the animals left to fend for themselves against each other in the streets of Tokyo. This sounds half bizarre, half awesome, all Japanese.

Warrior’s Lair — September 25th for PS3
If you didn’t already get your isometric RPG fix from Torchlight 2 last week, Sony got your back with…well, another isometric RPG…

World of Warcraft: Mists of Pandaria – September 25th for PC, Mac
I do not care for WoW but the CG trauker they released for MoP really had me curious as to how Blizzard would handle the opportunity to make their own WoW movie, because hey, I think it’d be pretty awesome.

Bad Piggies — September 27th for iOS, Mac, PC
Anybody here ever play Angry Birds? A couple of you, yeah? Here…have a sequel. Then tell me how you play this on a PC?

The DENPA Men: They Came By Wave — September 27th for 3DS
Uhhh… this is a role playing game in which you play as the DENPA men and is that supposed to mean anything to anybody? Oh, Japan…sometimes I just don’t know what to do with you!

Everyone Sing — September 27th for PS3, X360 and Wii
Until a karaoke game includes the following, I don’t care about karaoke games:

Catch you guys next week.

At long last, you can buy every Final Fantasy game in a single box.

If you love the Final Fantasy series and have $450 laying around spare then you can buy the 25^th anniversary Final Fantasy Box Set.

This set comes with:

• Every Final Fantasy game (excluding MMO’s and spin-offs)
• A numbered presentation plaque with character artwork by Yoshitaka Amano
• A 2-Disc Soundtrack
• Commemorative DVD
• 128-page book full of concept art
• In-game items for Final Fantasy XIV

The only catch as far as I can see, is that the games come on different systems. Final Fantasy I-IX (Excluding III) come on Playstation 1 discs, III comes on a PSP UMD, X, XI and XII come in Playstation 2 format, and XIII comes on a more understandable Playstation 3 Blu-Ray disc. This means that to play every game in this set you’re going to need all 3 Playstation home consoles and a PSP or a backwards compatible Playstation 3 and a PSP.

Everyone, however, seems to be asking the same question: Why haven’t they been ported onto a single console? Many of the Final Fantasy’s for the Playstation 1 are available for purchase on the Playstation Network. Would it have been so much trouble to work with Sony to create a disc that installs the same information as downloading would?

The Final Fantasy Ultimate Box will be available in Japan on December 18^th for 35,000 yen. There’s no official release date or price for the western version.

If you can read Japanese, you can (I think) pre-order the box here.

You guys must remember Kevin Butler, right? He’s the guy who made Playstation cool again, for a good year or so. Here, it’s this guy.

For anybody who doesn’t remember, Kevin Butler was the goddamned man. He was gamer spirit personified, a master of publicity-spinning crossed with Barney Stinson in his late 40′s. The advertising campaign was fresh, funny and so utterly watchable that it was, in it’s own way, shocking. Bear in mind that prior to this, just about all of Sony’s Playstation ads were either creepy, weird or mind-bogglingly offensive. All you have to do is google ‘PS3 White Room’ or ‘Racist Playstation Ad’ for examples and there’s plenty more where that craziness came from.

Anyway, watch this video about…I don’t know, tires or something.

How cool is it that tyre companies the world over are integrating video-games into their promotions! You get some deal including a Wii, because the Bridgestone guys totally love the Wii. Especially that one guy there who…who looks kinda…similar…

Jesus, Christ it’s K.B.

So the internet lost some of it’s shit after discovering this. All I’ve seen so far is rantings about how Kevin Butler betrayed Sony and although I love the sentiment, c’mon, guys. It’s an actor. His name is Jerry Lambert and he’s been around for years. So many years, in fact, that if you look around, you’ll find him in an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond. Do kids even know what Everybody Loves Raymond is anymore? I wish I didn’t…

But, I get the passion. Kevin Butler was a great advertising commodity and the writing behind the character was fantastic. This is the guy who crashed the Sony E3 press conference to give an impassioned speech about how awesome games are, after all. A part of me kinda wants him back now that I think about it.

And just for old times sakes: