Did somebody say games? No? Well, I’m gonna, so whatever. The weekly latecast of me bringing you fine people the latest games late continues unabated, with a full two day lateness this week! I swear, one day, I’ll get my schedule sorted out so that I have time on Sundays but until then, enjoy the guessing game.

Of note, I actually followed up on my comment last week about The Testament of Sherlock Holmes and…yeah, that game isn’t great. Probably coulda called that, but hey, you never know until you try it, right?

Anyway, that’s old news. Onto this week!

Coming out this week:

Carrier Command: Gaea Mission – October 2nd for PC & X360
This remake of the original 1988 Carrier Command is curiously being developed by the same developer, Bohemia Interactive, that created the first, leading me to wonder whether or not this is a real remake, or more of a reboot. But, hey, who am I to argue with Bohemia after the revitalised success that Arma II had had since DayZ‘s release, not to mention the impending DayZ retail release?

NBA 2K13 — October 2nd for PC, PS3, PSP, X360 & Wii
You guys like Basketball, right? Well here comes the biggest Basketball release of the year to not come packaged with a free basketball! Hell, it’ll still probably be bigger than NBA Baller Beats, because really, who the hell bought NBA Baller Beats?

New Little King’s Story — October 2nd for PSVita
The sequel to the Wii’s Little King’s Story will, according to Japanese magazine Famitsu, have “love elements, along with new visual stylings for its characters.” Without delving into press material, that’s all I could find about NLKS (although, let’s face it, that quote is just about the press-iest thing anybody could ever say about a JRPG.)

NiGHTS into Dreams… — October 2nd for PSN, October 5th for XBLA
One of the top selling games from the Saturn era comes to your Hard-Drive on digital platforms! Includes levels from some weird expansion thing called Christmas Nights! Can you tell I have no interest in this game at all?!

Resident Evil 6 — October 2nd for PS3 & X360
Speaking of games I (and the rest of the OWNT staff) have no interest in, there’s Resident Evil 6. In the coming months, we’re planning to get reviews out for all the major releases, but honestly…I don’t think there’s any point to an RE6 review. From what I understand of the series, you need to have a longstanding relationship with Resident Evil to comment on this title, which I don’t think any of us have, and the reception it’s received so far has been polarizing enough that if you’re really on the fence (after what I understand was an utterly abysmal demo), you should probably read the review from somebody who actually knows what they’re talking about. Might sound like some sort of a cop-out, but hey, full disclosure is a thing, so there you go.

Sonic Adventure 2 — October 2nd for PSN, October 5th for XBLA
I’m gonna go out on a professional limb here and make what other people have led me to believe is a controversial opinion: Fuck Sonic. I hate Sonic. I’ve never liked Sonic and I don’t get the appeal. Maybe my reflexes just kinda suck and I’m looking to blame the game, but I’ve never had a great deal of difficulty with other games based on speed, like say Burnout. If you do like the little furry hedgehog, though, here, take some classic Dreamcast era Sonic, and enjoy! Wait, when did the Dreamcast become classic? Sheeesh.

Port Royale 3 — October 4th for PS3 & X360
Port Royale is apparently a business simulation game and I’m already bored. Except for maybe you can be a pirate! Which isn’t boring. But if you can’t, this is probably a game solely for the businessy sorts, like OWNT’s founder Coop, because I guarantee he’s the only one on staff who knows how to turn a profit. The only one.

Remington’s Super Slam Ultimate Sportsman Challenge — October 5th for PS3 & X360
Hey, you! Are you so sports?! Yeah, but are you ultimate sports?! Yeah, but are you SUPER SLAM ULTIMATE SPORTS?! Then go out and buy this goddamn light-gun game. Maybe lay off the adrenaline inducers as well, the veins in your neck are freaking me the hell out.

Pokémon Dream Radar – October 7th for 3DS
This downloadable Pokémon game barely seems to be an actual game, and more a sort of AR-enhanced DLC for the real Pokémon game that comes out this week. See below.

Pokémon: Black & White Version 2 — October 7th for NDS
Well, they made another Pokémon game. This one, believe it or not, is a Japanese Role Playing Game in which you collect pocket monsters and utilize their varied skills in pitting them through inhumane duels with their kin, before enslaving them within miniature balls that would fail to pass Geneva Convention standards for Prisoner of War containment! You know if you’re buying this or not already.

OH! Before I forget, I think The Walking Dead: Episode Four is coming out this week. Just watch me be wrong.

Well, that’s Your Week in Games. See you next week. Maybe on time this week.

I know, I know, I’m a day late. Cut me some slack, I broke 3 toes today. No punchline here, only pain, kinda like this weeks releases, amiright?! Yeah? No? Psch, whatever.

Coming out this week:

Dead or Alive 5 — September 25th for PS3 & X360
If you like women in bikini’s kicking the living shit out of each other, you’ll probably like this! If you’re more into ‘the art’ of fighting games, though, you might wanna skip this and keep to Tekken Tag Tournament 2, which I hear is pretty good.

Disney Princess: My Fairytale Adventure — September 25th for PC, Wii & 3DS
What with the growing general interest in broniism and whatnot, I imagine any degrading comments I could make about these sorts of kid-friendly games will sooner or later result in management calling down to me from their cloud of dollars and telling me to cool down a little. That day hasn’t arrived yet, though, so if you’re expecting any real information about this game…what is wrong with you?! Ah, I kid, I kid. I actually watched a couple of episodes of My Little Pony with my niece a few months ago and you know what? That show is entertaining enough that I get why some people would be attracted to it. Apart from obscene animated crushes, though, I don’t know what people’s deal is with Disney Princesses…

DragonBall Z for Kinect — September 25th for X360
Namco Bandai refused to respond to my query as to whether DBZ for Kinect would cost “OVER NINE-THOUSAND (DOLLARS)”.  I probably wouldn’t have responded to such a question either, to be fair.

FIFA Soccer 13 – September 25th for PC, PS3, PSP, X360, 3DS
Over here in Britain, this game is just referred to as FIFA because ‘soccer’ is not a word. You crazy Americans.

Final Fantasy III —  September 25th for PSP
In Square Enix’s eternal quest to bring every FF game to the PSP, no matter how out-dated the hardware may seem to the rest of us, FFIII follows suit.

Grand Theft Auto III — September 25th for PSN
A part of me is still trying to comprehend how GTAIII wasn’t already on PSN. Does this mean that Vice City and San Andreas aren’t on there either? WHAT SORT OF WORLD ARE WE LIVING IN?!

LittleBigPlanet PS Vita — September 25th for PSVita
New rule: I’m not going to comment on any title that includes the name of the system it is being featured on within its title because you probably already know what to expect. Starting…Now.

One Piece: Pirate Warriors — September 25th for PS3
Apparently One Piece is a manga, rather than a swimsuit, as I first assumed. However, because that manga is not Ghost in the Shell, Akira, Battle Royale or something, you know, recognisable, I can’t say I care about this game. Probably doesn’t matter because word on the vine is that it’s not very good.

Pro Evolution Soccer 2013 — September 25th for PC, PS2, PS3, PSP, X360, Wii & 3DS
That’s right…they’re still making games for the PS2. Inorite?! I was surprised too.

Realms of Ancient War — September 25th for PS3
RAW (okay, that’s kinda cool) sounds pretty blase, so let’s take a look at one of Wizarbox’s previous titles, So Blonde.

Sunny Blonde is a 17-year-old teenager who has been spoiled by her rich parents. On a cruise with her parents who are celebrating their wedding anniversary, the ship is struck by lightning, and she is knocked overboard. She finds herself stranded on a beach of a remote “Forgotten Island” in the Caribbean Sea.

Holy crap, did they create the upcoming Tomb Raider 6 years before Crystal Dynamics?!

She is totally alone and worrying about her nails and messy make-up

…maybe not…

 The Testament of Sherlock Holmes — September 25th for PC, PSC, X360
Alright, that’s it. After seeing the Sherlock Holmes vs Jack the Ripper game cover all over the place for years, I’m officially hella curious as to what these games are. I’ll probably take a look at some point later this month/week/year/sometime in the future. I promise.

 Tokyo Jungle — September 25th for PSN
From what I understand Tokyo Jungle is set after humans have left planet Earth and follows the plight of the animals left to fend for themselves against each other in the streets of Tokyo. This sounds half bizarre, half awesome, all Japanese.

Warrior’s Lair — September 25th for PS3
If you didn’t already get your isometric RPG fix from Torchlight 2 last week, Sony got your back with…well, another isometric RPG…

World of Warcraft: Mists of Pandaria – September 25th for PC, Mac
I do not care for WoW but the CG trauker they released for MoP really had me curious as to how Blizzard would handle the opportunity to make their own WoW movie, because hey, I think it’d be pretty awesome.

Bad Piggies — September 27th for iOS, Mac, PC
Anybody here ever play Angry Birds? A couple of you, yeah? Here…have a sequel. Then tell me how you play this on a PC?

The DENPA Men: They Came By Wave — September 27th for 3DS
Uhhh… this is a role playing game in which you play as the DENPA men and is that supposed to mean anything to anybody? Oh, Japan…sometimes I just don’t know what to do with you!

Everyone Sing — September 27th for PS3, X360 and Wii
Until a karaoke game includes the following, I don’t care about karaoke games:

Catch you guys next week.

Borderlands 2 comes out this week! And all you Americans get it, like, half a week before I do. Which makes me angry. But not too angry because I am just stoked to get the chance to play a game I’ve actually been looking forward to. Mike is gonna be playing it as soon as and will get a review up sooner than later and we might start trying to figure out how ‘Second Opinions’ work with this game, but no promises. We should certainly have those up and running in the coming months, no matter what, because there is a whole mess of games on the way.

Speaking of games (and Borderlands!) lets see what else is on the horizon for the coming week.

Coming out this week:

Harley Pasternak’s Hollywood Workout — September 16th for X360, September 20th for Wii
If you want a workout guided by the Canadian *SENSATION* responsible for the figures of Hilary Duff, Katy Perry and…uh, Lady Gaga then look no further. I spent enough time with an old room-mates Nike training game for the Kinect to know, goddamn, I neither need nor want to spend any time with any more exercise games.

Borderlands 2 — September 18th for PC, PS3 and X360
Do I even need to explain why you should play Borderlands 2? I could point you to what I want out of the game, but otherwise things are looking good. Just look at this screenshot.

F1 2012 — September 18th for PC, PS3 and X360
I don’t know whether it’s got something to do with being in Britain, a place with less fondness for NASCAR than Formula One, but I still see an abundance of F1 2011 copies all over shelves, whenever I stop by anywhere that sells games at all. So, yeah. Now I get to look forward to seeing F1 2012 all over everywhere instead.

Hotel Transylvania  – September 18th for 3DS
Apparently Hotel Transylvania is a movie, starring Adam Sandler. Now I’m pretty into movies and whatnot and I have never even heard about this feature. Adam Sandler as Dracula sounds about as appealing as any of Sandlers recent roles recently, though, so not very.

Jet Set Radio — September 18th for PC, PSN and XBLA
Jet Set Radio is an action platformer that originally debuted on Dreamcast. You’ll probably remember it better by the name Jet Grind Radio, although I don’t think I ever even heard of it. So this is a HD remake. Apparently the original was pretty good, so take that for what it’s worth.

 Kinect Nat Geo TV – September 18th for X360
I’m sure this already came out, but looking back, I don’t seem to have written anything about it. So hey, if you dig on elephants and shit, National Geographic got your back with the most appropriate game for you since…well, Afrika for the PS3.

Kinect Sesame Street TV — September 18th for X360
It seems to me that this game is utterly moot, what with Double Fine having released what will likely prove to be an exceptional Sesame Street-Kinect based experience with Once Upon A Monster. Apparently, though, Sesame Street has a big Kinect initiative which means this is probably the second of a whole myriad of SS games coming along in the future.

Street Fighter: 25th Anniversary Collector’s Set — September 18th for PS3 and X360
I’m just gonna give you the hard info because that’s probably the most informative thing I can do, rather than crack some lame old joke about Street Fighter.

The Street Fighter: 25th Anniversary Collector’s Set includes Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix, Street Fighter III: Third Strike Online Edition, Street Fighter IV Arcade Edition and Street Fighter X Tekken. All costume DLC is included for Street Fighter IV along with all character and Swap Costume DLC for Street Fighter X Tekken. The set will also include an eleven disc soundtrack filled with Street Fighter music spanning the last twenty-five years. In addition, a two disc Blu-Ray set will feature a documentary covering the franchise, Street Fighter IV and Super Street Fighter IV anime films, all episodes of the Street Fighter animated series and Street Fighter II: The Animated Movie. A 64-page art book, eight inch light-up Ryu statue, full-size Ryu martial arts belt and certificate of authenticity are also included.

I legitimately kinda love the Jean Claude Van Damme Street Fighter movie. Legitimately.

La-Mulana — September 20th for Wii

La-Mulana is an Action Archaeological Ruins Exploration game.

What in the holy fuck does that mean? As Dr. Lemeza Kosugi you will fight monsters to get to the mystical city of La-Mulana and you know what? This just sounds bad. I don’t even want to know anything else, it just sounds bad.

Rayman: Jungle Run — September 20th for Android
Who loves Rayman? You love Rayman! Who loves Android? Fucking no-one, that’s who. Alright, I kid, I kid. But seriously, I couldn’t care less about an Android version of a great game, because I simply don’t have an Android.

Torchlight II — September 20th for PC
Torchlight II isn’t coming out. I know they say it’s coming out, but it isn’t. It can’t be. My universe implodes the moment this game finally comes out. So no, it’s not coming out. It’s especially not coming out the day Borderlands 2 comes out where I live, because, hell, that means I’m probably not gonna play it.

Anna — September 21st for Mac
So, this is a first person horror adventure that debuted on PC earlier this year and has very little profile as far as I can tell. But I’ve been looking into getting into horror games, so the PC version may end up making its way onto my personal wishlist. We’ll see.

So, to surmise: Borderlands, Borderlands, Borderlands. Any thoughts? Hit the comments, below.

Capcom has recently unveiled their post-release DLC plan for their upcoming Resident Evil 6, the latest in the long-standing, zombie slaying survival horror franchise.

The emphasis seems to be placed on adding multiplayer modes. Besides the single player, RE6 will have a co-operative campaign, as well as both co-op and competitive multiplayer modes upon the game’s initial release with DLC adding additional modes.

Firstly, there will be a Survivor mode which takes a classic versus mode and adds the twist that getting killed will respawn you as zombies or other monsters with the ability to attack other players with the last human or human team left standing wins. Predator Mode involves a single player taking the role of the monstrous Ustanak creature, a dangerous bio-organic weapon. The rest of the players in the match will be tasked with bringing down the Ustanak before it destroys all of them. Siege mode will have human players and enemy players revolving around a single NPC: the Human players protecting the NPC, the monster enemies attempting to take the NPC out. All three new modes will support up to six players online.

Accomplishments achieved throughout online interactions and the game’s campaign will be trackable from ResidentEvil.net which will launch on the same day RE6 releases.

All of this sounds like solid extra content but the point remains that Resident Evil fans are still voicing a great deal of concern about the main game. Although it’s certainly far too late in the process to start making major changes to the game (especially considering the game has already been confirmed as certified gold with the first run of prints having been manufactured) but these DLC plans will likely do little to assuage the doubts that fans have had thus far.

Are there any Resi Evil fans looking forward to this DLC, or have you all already sworn off this title? Let us know in the comments below.

Resident Evil 6 will be released October 2nd.

Jesus, this week is quiet and I can’t say I mind, as I’m having an extremely busy day. So let’s just get straight into it.

Coming out this week:

Critter Crunch — September 11th for PC
Critter Crunch is an iOS game that has been ported to PC and will later be available on PS3. According the the iOS reviews, it’s pretty good. GREAT!

Double Dragon: Neon — September 11th for PSN, September 12th for XBLA
Another game in the utterly ‘meh’ beat ‘em up franchise that is still alive after 25 years. GREAT!…ish.

Finding Nemo: Escape to the Big Blue — September 11th for 3DS
C’mon, everybody loves Finding Nemo. I don’t even need to do any research for this one. GREAT!

NBA Baller Beats — September 11th for X360
It’s a rhythm/basketball game. So it’s a second tier mash up of a dead genre and a mass market Kinect game that…
Nobody cares. GREAT!

NHL 13 — September 11th for PS3 & X360
Hockey. GREAT!

Tekken Tag Tournament 2 — September 11th for PS3 & X360
I almost care about Tekken, in some alternate reality when I never stopped being 13 and Tekken 3 was still the greatest game of all time. Almost. GREAT!

Empire: Total War (Gold Edition) — September 13th for Mac
Something, something, Total War, something, Gold, something. GREAT!

Prince of Persia Classic — September 13th for Android
I’m sorry, I just don’t see the appeal of PoP classic for anybody to young to have played it ‘back in the day’. And for Android? Just…urgh.
But still, GREAT!

Kirby’s Dream Collection: Special Edition — September 16th for Wii
I’ve admitted before that I’ve never played a Zelda game. Is it reputation suicide to admit that I’ve never played a Kirby game either? You know what, just imagine a world where I’ve never heard of Nintendo. Because, honestly, that’s not far from the truth.

Super speedy, like I said. This should counteract the fan-gasm I have next week when Borderlands 2 is released. So, look forward to that.

Comments, below, all that jazz. Lates!

Have you ever heard of Escape Goat? I hadn’t. The MagicalTimeBean game (seriously, game dev’s have the weirdest names) is already available for purchase on Xbox Live Arcade and Windows and is now available in browser, where you can play it for free until Sunday, September 9th. MagicalTimeBean is a company started up by Ian Stocker who, in addition to Escape Goat, previously brought us Soulcaster I & II for the Xbox and PC. He previously worked as a programmer/designer on the original Guild Wars and if being a part of the ArenaNet alumni isn’t worthy of some acknowledgement, I don’t know what is.

Here’s what makes the browser version of Escape Goat so special:

Here’s what makes this special:

• Linux and Mac users can play the game for the first time
• Players can use the built-in level editor to create and share levels with a simple URL
• Two user-created worlds featuring over 40 new rooms
• In the spirit of spreading the joie de vivre of Escape Goat, the web version is now localized to French!

Don’t worry, I got your backs: ‘Joie de vivre’ means ‘Joy of Living’* which is a curious term to apply to Escape Goat. I tinkered around with the game and I’ll be damned if it isn’t about a goat making an escape! It’s a fun puzzle/platformer with some cool mechanics and worth an hour or two of your time. Beware, though, some of the timing can get a little frustrating in later stages. And remember, after Sept. 9th, you’ll only have access to the demo and user created levels for free.

You can find Escape Goat at http://www.playescapegoat.com/

*I don’t know a word of French.

Word is that Konami is asking websites to remove the newly released trailer for Metal Gear Solid: Ground Zeroes. The request is made under the pretense that Konami is having some difficulty with the rights to a song used in the trailer.

The trailer, which premiered last week at Penny Arcade Expo Prime, featured some instrumental music but primarily made use of the Ennio Morricone and Joan Baez song ‘Here’s To You’, written for the Italian film Sacco e Vanzetti.

I don’t see any reason for Konami to be lying about their reason for needing the trailer to be pulled, both they and Kojima have been hitting gamers with a whole bunch of news regarding both MGS:GZ and the future of Metal Gear in general, recently. If the problem stems from the rights to ‘Here’s To You’, though, then the situation must be indescribably messy. Fans who pay any attention to game scores should recognize ‘Here’s To You’ as being used to great effect in Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots, although that rendition was sung by Lisbeth Scott and arranged by longtime series composer Harry Gregson Williams. As an aside, I just want it noted that if Konami and Kojima don’t secure Williams for MGS:GZ and the referred-to MGS5 then they have well and truly screwed up. In a series of insane highlights, Williams’ scores for the MGS games are one of the more enticing reasons to come back for more craziness.

It’s entirely possible that Konami had the rights to rearrange and record the ‘Here’s To You’ track but never necassarily had the rights to use the original Morricone masterpiece, not even for advertising. If this is the case, you can probably expect Konami to release a new version of the Ground Zeroes trailer with their reworked version from MGS4 relatively soon, even though the tempo for the latter is much more somber and wouldn’t have the same effect that the original had in the GZ trailer.

Let’s face it, though. This is the internet: even if Konami get that trailer taken off of every single game site, there’s always Youtube.

Ever wonder what it would be like if a car manufacturer made a gaming mouse? Wonder no more! BMW’s DesignworksUSA and computer parts manufacturer Thermaltake have teamed up yet again up to create a new, high end gaming mouse. The dream team previously collaborated on the Level 10 PC case, and this time they’re back to reshape the peripheral market.

The Level 10 M features a sleek, air-flow design that keeps the hand cool over extended hours of play, 11 programmable buttons, and a special “Z” button that allows the user to switch between various preset gaming profiles, allowing virtual limitless customization options. Its open center should, theoretically, make it very light, and with a DPI adjustment of up to 8200, this gaming mouse might just be a contender for MadCatz’s Terminator of a mouse, the R.A.T. 3.

Retailing at $99, the price is comparable to that of the R.A.T. and famed gaming mouse the Razer Naga, but will it be as reliable?

There’s a Rambo video-game in the works and every month or two, a little bit of information crops up. Like most others, I found myself blowing news of the game off entirely (mostly because the last Rambo game I ever heard of didn’t turn out too well…) but having recently rewatched the first (and best) Rambo film, First Blood, I found my curiosity had been piqued. Maybe this time could be different. Maybe…

I turned to the press releases. The latest one started well with what might be the best line from the entire tetralogy of films.

I could have killed ‘em all, I could kill you. In town you’re the law, out here it’s me. Don’t push it. Don’t push it or I’ll give you a war you won’t believe…

–John Rambo

And the screens of the worlds taken straight out of the original three movies looked pretty great. Then came the kicker. That one phrase I didn’t want to hear. First-person shooter. “Rambo: The Video Game will be a fixed-perspective, first-person shooter & action game allowing players to fill the combat boots of John Rambo on a violent journey through iconic action sequences from the original three legendary Rambo movies.” And the video chosen to accompany this press release? Well…just watch.

Okay, let’s take this one step at a time. We’ll ignore the fairly unforgivable marketing decision to not include any gameplay or even pre-rendered cutscenes and ignore the fact that this doesn’t tell us a single thing about the game that people with associative abilities haven’t already figured out.

That is not Rambo. Well, it is. But not really.

How many people out there have actually ever seen First Blood, because I suspect it’s far less than the number of people who know about the Rambo character. If you haven’t yet, make a point to watch it because aside from being the second best Vietnam film of all time (despite only having about 20 seconds of footage set in Vietnam) First Blood will break down every preconception you ever had about Rambo as a character. The sequels soon became satired and parodied in everything from Hot Shots to The Simpsons but all that was kind of unnecessary because they were pretty much already parodies of themselves. First Blood, however, still stands up as both a masterful psychological thriller as well as an utterly kick-ass action film. Don’t believe me yet? Okay, here’s a slight spoiler that won’t make any sense to you until you’ve seen First Blood: There is literally only one death in the whole movie and even that was an accident.

That is the game I want to play. I want to play as John Rambo from First Blood: a good man, a loyal soldier, misunderstood by his fellow civilians. Mentally scarred and fractured after an exhausting war and an even more tiring life, living with PTSD. Deadly, but not murderous. Violent, but not evil.

I ragged on Rambo: The Arcade Game earlier but I can’t bring myself to hate Sega for developing it. Even a few years ago, in 2009, I don’t think they could make a true Rambo, or should I say a true First Blood game. And besides, the machismo stereotype that Rambo became is too easy a ‘sell’ for video-games: Give players a big gun, plenty of targets and the job’s a good’un! But now however…I think right now is the time that First Blood could be truly realized in an interactive form.

Earlier this year, we had Spec Ops: The Line, which may have lacked in certain gameplay elements (whether that was the point or not is a discussion for another day), but made up for such ‘shortcomings’ with a tremendous story that carefully portrayed the destruction of a sane mind, the practically desensitizing  mindset of a soldier pushed too far. Although it’s plot was liberally lifted from Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness and Francis Ford Coppola’s Apocalypse Now! (the best Vietnam film ever made, by the way), First Blood certainly courts the same themes.

Telltale Games have been releasing a Walking Dead episodic game throughout the year that shows how effectively emotional story-telling can trump banal life-less action, every single time. Although I don’t think an episodic adventure game would work for a Rambo game I can’t say I wouldn’t be curious to see what Telltale would do with it.

Or how about Naughty Dog’s upcoming post-apocalyptic thriller/horror/action game The Last of Us? It’s a bit early to draw any absolute opinions as we won’t be playing The Last of Us any time soon but honestly, I could see the systems and mechanics they’ve shown off so far working wondrously in a First Blood game. Tone down the violence slightly, bring in a couple of Uncharted style set-pieces such as Rambo hanging from a cliff or riding a motorcycle, consider a way to incorporate traps (which may even be in TLoU, who knows?) and borrow the self-medicating gameplay vignettes from Metal Gear Solid 3. Hell, I’d play that just to see what works and what doesn’t and I still have a feeling it would be great.

Remember when Batman: Arkham Asylum came out and everyone was in awe of a licensed game not only being okay, but being great? None of the ideas above are likely to happen any time soon, but it illustrates the potential that licensed properties have, going forward, and although I couldn’t care less about the Rambo sequels, I would really hate to see First Blood tarnished.

Of course, all this concern could be for naught. Teyon, the developers behind Rambo: The Video Game, could be onto something great. If only there were some sort of trailer we could see to gauge how the game might turn out.

Oh, wait…

Not everybody out there follows films as intensively as I do so let me sum up Iron Sky for you: Space Nazi’s. It shocks me that this isn’t already a game and it must shock the people over at Reality Pump because sooner than later, you’ll be able to get your hands on the video-game tie-in to this comic-sci-fi-historic-action schlock-fest.

Iron Sky was a movie released earlier this year about the defeated Nazi party of 1945 packing up and heading to the moon, with plans to return to Earth with a space fleet in 2018 and continue the work of the Third Reich. It was funded by Finland, Germany and Australia and although I haven’t seen it, I have been assured by friends that it is the sort of ridiculousness that I expect from my B-movies. As well as plans for a prequel and sequel (Hitler planning the moon excursion and being reanimated after the events of the original film, perhaps?) there are now plans for a video-game tie in.

Iron Sky: Invasion is being developed by German studio Reality Pump and will “the player in the pilot seat of defending Earth from a sudden Nazi invasion – from space.” with an arsenal of experimental space fighters.  Developer Miroslav Dymek comments how the studio wanted to create a space sim game blending political and tactical components, with the absurdity of Moon Nazi humour, which the press release shows off with abandon.

Iron Sky: Invasion will bear the major underlying theme of politics: everything, even defending your planet from “luna-r-tic” villains, requires skillful political maneuvers. You will need to know who you are fighting for, whose boots you are stepping on, and choose your friends, or more importantly, enemies carefully.

Is “luna-r-tic” a joke from the film or does it simply not make sense? Absurdist humor, although awesome, is difficult to get a handle on, in text.

The film’s director, Timo Vuorensola, explained that he’d “always known that Iron Sky needed a proper video game around the franchise, one where the whole complexity of the world of Iron Sky could be examined” which either has to be a joke or means I need to get out there and purchase a copy of Iron Sky right away.

Iron Sky: Invasion is currently due for a release on PC, Playstation 3 and Xbox 360 on November 30th, 2012. It will feature optional stereoscopic 3D for those of you who like your Nazi’s with extra dimension.